A lot of people ask this question: "How come the healthier I get, the more I recover, the less people seem to like me or want to be my friend?" If you are, in fact, getting healthier, then your non-verbal communication is changing.
If you are living and working in a region or group that has a large
incidence of emotional or mental unhealthiness, then anyone with
stronger inner confidence and healthier boundaries will be avoided, even
shunned or targeted for gossip. Why? Because people who live in
chaotic or controlling environments don't like those who aren't
participating in the game, who aren't submitting to the illusory
hierarchy they try to create, who aren't jumping to respond to their
social signals. If you aren't acting submissive to the ones who want to
be seen as "tough", "powerful", or "leaders", they won't like you. If
you aren't fawning over the ones who want to be seen as "Great" or
"Beautiful", or "Handsome", they won't like you. If you are not
participating in bullying, corruption, or gossip, they won't like you,
and if you stand up against any of that, they really won't like you.
It doesn't take much beyond simply not responding to their non-verbal
social cues. If you look uninterested in the game they're playing,
whichever game it is, they won't want you around.
EXACTLY
like... children who don't want their teacher (non-PD teacher) around
when they're not playing by the rules, or when they're picking on other
kids.
You're "wrecking" their game with your calm and
confident demeanor because you aren't following the group~ you don't
give extra attention or admiration to the "Cool Kid" in the group, you
don't follow the "Leader Kid" in the group, and you aren't picking on
the "dumb" or "crazy" or "Loser Kid" in the group, you aren't displaying
pity or martyring yourself for the "Martyr Kid" in the group, and you
are not allowing anyone to put one of those labels on you. You just
treat everyone with the same respect and care as human beings, and your
non-verbal cues show that you expect them to do the same. You are
showing that you aren't interested in playing the social games. But they
are, so they don't want you around if they can't MAKE you play (they
will try at first, but then they'll just reject you when it doesn't
work).
The only way they will "be your friends again" is if you let them make up the rules, and you play their game.
The good news is, you aren't inside of the game, so you can live your real life.
