Being
in any kind of relationship is like riding a seesaw. There is joy and
peace when each person is actually playing the game of the seesaw,
creating balance, creating momentum, slowing it down when it gets wobbly
or too high, and speeding up when both feel secure and are in the
balance zone. The seesaw is great fun to play with, but that fun can
only be found when another person who understands...,
at least intuitively, the physics of balance. If the person on the
other end of the seesaw is just trying to knock you off, bounce you on
the ground, or make it go too fast so they can enjoy the look on your
face, they probably don't comprehend the physics of balance, and would
not be able to appreciate the feeling of achieving the subtle levels of
balance and speed that can only be attained with two people purposely
synchronizing with one another. If the only reason the other person
likes to play on the seesaw is to manipulate the person on the other
side, then they aren't going to be able to achieve balance, or
comprehend the joy in it.
They will also jump off and let the other person slam on the ground when they get bored, or the other person won't let them be "the boss", or when they see another toy, or another game going on.
They aren't going to be able to focus on the seesaw for very long at all, and won't even know why anyone would want to. It's boring to them, they can't comprehend, or feel, the magnetic resonance that's created in achieving balance and harmony with another person.
What's fun for them is competing for control, attention, and domination over others. That' pretty much it. They simply can not grasp why someone finds achieving balance and resonance with others FUN and fulfilling.
Having a relationship with a Controller, whether they're friend, family, romantic or business, is like riding a seesaw with a bully. Most of the ride is going to just be either dealing with the bully's attempts at "taking control" of the seesaw, or trying to make you go faster or slower, and when you're not dealing with that, you're watching them for signs that they're going to slam it again, and you're wondering when they're just going to jump off and let you slam on the ground. It's not fun, it's just stressful. But you know you can't play the seesaw without another person, and the bully knows this too.
The only way to get away from a bully who thinks he or she owns the seesaw at the playground is to jump off. Go find a different playground, and stop trying to find someone to play on the seesaw for a while. Swings are fun too, and they only require one person. When you find someone you think you can trust to play on the seesaw with you, use caution and pay attention to their actions. If they show signs of being a bully, just get off the seesaw and go back to the swings.
They will also jump off and let the other person slam on the ground when they get bored, or the other person won't let them be "the boss", or when they see another toy, or another game going on.
They aren't going to be able to focus on the seesaw for very long at all, and won't even know why anyone would want to. It's boring to them, they can't comprehend, or feel, the magnetic resonance that's created in achieving balance and harmony with another person.
What's fun for them is competing for control, attention, and domination over others. That' pretty much it. They simply can not grasp why someone finds achieving balance and resonance with others FUN and fulfilling.
Having a relationship with a Controller, whether they're friend, family, romantic or business, is like riding a seesaw with a bully. Most of the ride is going to just be either dealing with the bully's attempts at "taking control" of the seesaw, or trying to make you go faster or slower, and when you're not dealing with that, you're watching them for signs that they're going to slam it again, and you're wondering when they're just going to jump off and let you slam on the ground. It's not fun, it's just stressful. But you know you can't play the seesaw without another person, and the bully knows this too.
The only way to get away from a bully who thinks he or she owns the seesaw at the playground is to jump off. Go find a different playground, and stop trying to find someone to play on the seesaw for a while. Swings are fun too, and they only require one person. When you find someone you think you can trust to play on the seesaw with you, use caution and pay attention to their actions. If they show signs of being a bully, just get off the seesaw and go back to the swings.
