Narcissism, BPD, and Stigma

We might need to revisit straightforward Narcissism vs. BPD. There is so much stigma attached to both, which is of course one of the traits of Narcissism, ironically~ labeling people as "loser", "crazy", or "bad". These diagnostic labels are supposed to be tools used for analysis and understanding purposes, not for stamping people with scarlet letters and shunning them. Throughout human history though, as we all are aware, there are always those who find ways to group people as "good ones" (that would be the 'Us' crowd) and "bad ones" (that would be the 'Them' crowd). Mental illness is no different, and most of us who have been abuse targets know exactly what it feels like to be treated like a "Them", so we know it's not helpful at all, and only serves one purpose, someone's agenda.
>>>We might want to do that, even feel we need to, when we are in the middle of dealing with an abuser, and it's understandable, but that's a completely different thing from those who are not dealing with a specific situation attaching stigma, and is especially true for those who are mental health care workers and professionals. A psychiatrist, psychologist, clinician or therapist MUST learn how to view other humans as objectively as possible, without giving themselves "permission" to be judgmental with the excuse that they're "only human". Of course it's hard, it's hard for anyone to be objective about their fellow humans, but it's essential nonetheless.
That being said; some differences between classic Narcissism and basic BPD:

The person with BPD is worried about you liking him or her. The person with NPD is not, they are only worried about whether you'll be a supply or not.

The person with BPD may become very anxious or angry if they feel abandoned, it's one of the common symptoms. The person with NPD doesn't feel "abandoned", they feel like they're being 'disrespected' if someone isn't paying enough attention to them.

The person with BPD may feel angry, humiliated, and defensive when he or she feels like someone is treating them like they're someone who's "loopy" or "dumb" (not so abnormal, is it? it's just that their emotions about it can be much more intense, and can cause serious anxiety, which then makes them appear "loopy", which then invites even more negative judgment, etc~) The person with NPD is the one DOING the judging.

The person with BPD may self-harm and develop addictions due to anxiety, fear, stress relief, belonging, and feeling unwanted and shunned. The person with NPD develops addictions because they were looking for something to make them more powerful than they already think they are in some way (like amphetamines so they can get an "edge" on someone they're competing with, or anabolic steroids.)

The person with BPD may be very upset about something someone did or didn't do on a regular basis, and may have interpreted the other person's actions, words, and motive completely wrong but stay upset anyway; the person with NPD pretty much only displays annoyance and anger (and rage) as genuine emotions, and it's usually because something didn't go their way; if they could HIDE those emotional displays they would, absolutely (hurts their image and agenda, the display itself humiliates them, and they may become even angrier and blame someone else for it.They may do things to distract others or 'escape' when they feel exposed, or an emotional reaction coming on. They may 'turn the tables' as an escape tactic.)

A person who has BPD traits can ALSO have 'Narcissism', but they're not one and the same. There are all kinds of "versions" of BPD, especially since it's only a label for a pattern or cluster of behaviors that was noticed some years ago. The actual CAUSE of an individual's BPD symptoms frequently goes unexplored and ignored, and untreated, by many in the mental health professions. It's common for a person who has been diagnosed with BPD to get prescribed heavy medications but not receive therapy such as DBT, which has shown very postive results. It is common for a person who has been diagnosed with BPD to be singled out as the "cause of the family problems" by mental health care workers, (scapegoated), instead of the other way around, or even as a piece of a larger puzzle. It's common for a family scapegoat to develop BPD symptoms, and also for any children growing up in a Narcissistic environment (caregiver, family, or larger community).

There are a lot of people with BPD symptoms, from mild to severe; it centers around weak, severely weak, and injured boundaries, and a lack of awareness and understanding about boundaries in general. With that, an unclear, wobbly, or skewed sense of self and identity. All of which is frequently caused by abuse, bad behavior modeling, skewed feedback, and/or neglect.



 "The disorder, characterized by intense emotions, self-harming acts and stormy interpersonal relationships, was officially recognized in 1980 and given the name Borderline Personality Disorder. It was thought to occur on the border between psychotic and neurotic behavior.  This is no longer considered a relevant analysis and the term itself, with its stigmatizing negative associations, has made diagnosing BPD problematic. The complex symptoms of the disorder often make patients difficult to treat and therefore may evoke feelings of anger and frustration in professionals trying to help, with the result that many professionals are often unwilling to make the diagnosis or treat persons with these symptoms.  These problems have been aggravated by the lack of appropriate insurance coverage for the extended psychosocial treatments that BPD usually requires.  Nevertheless, there has been much progress and success in the past 25 years in the understanding of and specialized treatment for BPD.  It is, in fact, a diagnosis that has a lot of hope for recovery." 
~NAMI  
(Click for page:What is Borderline Personality Disorder)
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