Denial is a human brain function, we all have it, and the ultimate irony is we all tend to ...deny... that we have it.
It's just our subconscious's way of protecting us from ourselves, and becoming overwhelmed with stress and fear. The pros of this function are apparently high, even essential, or it wouldn't be a regular part of our brain function. The cons, however, can be detrimental when we're in a negative or dangerous situation, and when we're trying to heal and/or change, or improve our lives and the lives of our children and loved ones.
On the pro side, denial allows us to walk around every day without stressing and wondering if we're going to get struck by a meteor, if we're getting exposed to pathogens, if we're being watched by predators or psychopaths, and how dangerous our commute to and from work or the store really is. It helps us forget about our own physical and psychological "issues" and "flaws" so we don't obsess on them. It allows us to go about our day, and even have fun.
On the con side, it blurs and blocks our ability to see things that are not good for us. We go and eat food that we know is bad for us because of Denial. We keep habits that are unhealthy. We keep doing things that sabotage our wallets and our careers even though we consciously "know" better. We keep connections with other human beings who are not supportive or healthy for us, and stay in dysfunctional groups. We allow incompetent and bullying leaders, in all kinds of areas, from government to business to family to local communities. We block our own view of our own control issues and habits, and rationalize the way we treat others. We even try to block other people from looking at things that are "wrong" around us and in the world when we're in denial.
Denial is the part of our brain that says "It's no big deal" when we know it is a big deal.
It says "Stop looking at those flaws and discrepancies".
It says "That's just the way things are".
It says "There is no contradiction, there is no negative impact, there is no corrupt agenda".
It says "People get what they deserve" when we learn that someone has been disrespected or victimized.
It says "But it helps me stay calm, so it's okay" when we know we're addicted to something.
It says "But I didn't mean to, my intentions were good" when we know we screwed up or hurt someone.
It says "She/he made me do it" .
It says "But he/she is really a great person" when we know deep down their motives are corrupt.
It says "I'm better and a superior person than her/him, so I deserve to be treated better, and I deserve more privileges and stuff".
It says "He/she acts like that because he has to, to be an effective boss/leader." when deep down we know he's really a bully.
It says "She/he isn't really that talented/smart/skilled/capable/kind" when deep down we know we're just envious.
It says "Who cares about that, it doesn't affect me".
It says "Everything is fine, there's no need to look at that, let's focus on something else".
Denial allows us to stay where we are and continue what we're doing instead of constantly trying to protect ourselves and fix all the flaws around us and in us, which would literally take every waking moment, and much of the time we should be sleeping as well. But, at the same time, it works SO well that it covers up what we could change and veils what we NEED to look at, analyze, and change to have a better life and a better world.
We can't remove the function of Denial in our brains, and perhaps we shouldn't, because it allows us to enjoy the beauty in life without being overwhelmed with fear, holing ourselves up in a survival shelter for the rest of our lives. However admitting that it's a real and every day part of our humanness is essential if we honestly want positive change, peace, and a better world for our children and ourselves.
It's just our subconscious's way of protecting us from ourselves, and becoming overwhelmed with stress and fear. The pros of this function are apparently high, even essential, or it wouldn't be a regular part of our brain function. The cons, however, can be detrimental when we're in a negative or dangerous situation, and when we're trying to heal and/or change, or improve our lives and the lives of our children and loved ones.
On the pro side, denial allows us to walk around every day without stressing and wondering if we're going to get struck by a meteor, if we're getting exposed to pathogens, if we're being watched by predators or psychopaths, and how dangerous our commute to and from work or the store really is. It helps us forget about our own physical and psychological "issues" and "flaws" so we don't obsess on them. It allows us to go about our day, and even have fun.
On the con side, it blurs and blocks our ability to see things that are not good for us. We go and eat food that we know is bad for us because of Denial. We keep habits that are unhealthy. We keep doing things that sabotage our wallets and our careers even though we consciously "know" better. We keep connections with other human beings who are not supportive or healthy for us, and stay in dysfunctional groups. We allow incompetent and bullying leaders, in all kinds of areas, from government to business to family to local communities. We block our own view of our own control issues and habits, and rationalize the way we treat others. We even try to block other people from looking at things that are "wrong" around us and in the world when we're in denial.
Denial is the part of our brain that says "It's no big deal" when we know it is a big deal.
It says "Stop looking at those flaws and discrepancies".
It says "That's just the way things are".
It says "There is no contradiction, there is no negative impact, there is no corrupt agenda".
It says "People get what they deserve" when we learn that someone has been disrespected or victimized.
It says "But it helps me stay calm, so it's okay" when we know we're addicted to something.
It says "But I didn't mean to, my intentions were good" when we know we screwed up or hurt someone.
It says "She/he made me do it" .
It says "But he/she is really a great person" when we know deep down their motives are corrupt.
It says "I'm better and a superior person than her/him, so I deserve to be treated better, and I deserve more privileges and stuff".
It says "He/she acts like that because he has to, to be an effective boss/leader." when deep down we know he's really a bully.
It says "She/he isn't really that talented/smart/skilled/capable/kind" when deep down we know we're just envious.
It says "Who cares about that, it doesn't affect me".
It says "Everything is fine, there's no need to look at that, let's focus on something else".
Denial allows us to stay where we are and continue what we're doing instead of constantly trying to protect ourselves and fix all the flaws around us and in us, which would literally take every waking moment, and much of the time we should be sleeping as well. But, at the same time, it works SO well that it covers up what we could change and veils what we NEED to look at, analyze, and change to have a better life and a better world.
We can't remove the function of Denial in our brains, and perhaps we shouldn't, because it allows us to enjoy the beauty in life without being overwhelmed with fear, holing ourselves up in a survival shelter for the rest of our lives. However admitting that it's a real and every day part of our humanness is essential if we honestly want positive change, peace, and a better world for our children and ourselves.
