Reacting To Others: Narcissists Don't Like It When

Narcissists in particular do not like it, and will feel entitled to "intervene/retaliate" if a target:

~is doing something that might be construed as "important" by someone

~receives sympathy, empathy, or understanding from others

~does not agree 100% with what they say

~is not doing a task exactly the way they want them to do it (even if it's done correctly and well)

~does do a task correctly and well

 ~appears to feel confident, in control, relaxed, or deeply happy

~receives recognition or praise from others

~receives, earns, inherits, or wins material possessions (assets, money, or any other object)

~is apparently liked or favored by a child or an animal

~is liked, loved, cared for or praised by a family member

~is liked, loved, cared for or praised by friends or a romantic partner

~is treated fairly and courteously

~is treated with respect

~appears to be very capable, talented, skilled, intelligent, or strong

~appears to be seen as having attractive "looks" to others

~appears to have fair or high potential for worldly success

~speaks their own mind; does not make sure to line up their thoughts, feelings, and opinions with them or the rest of the group

~shows independence, initiative, and autonomy

~stands up for themselves OR others (even strangers who are not within the personal group) against unfair treatment, disrespect, injustice, or abuse.

~expresses any needs for any reason, or has any expectations of the Narcissist regarding their needs

~does not put all of the Narcissists' needs, wants, or ego before all of their own needs and goals.

~has friends and connections outside of the circle of influence and control

Accountability, being wrong, and blame to someone who suffers from Narcissism is akin to holding their hand to a hot stove, or telling them to pick up a poisonous snake. No matter what is actually happening, they CAN NOT be the one who's wrong. Sharing accountability is the closest they might come to it, like "I'm sorry if you're sorry", or "we're both to blame", or "everyone is to to blame". Their inner world needs to stay as a perfect sanctuary for their very fragile self, in constant protection mode as one would do for their body if they had serious burns; no one may come near unless they are going to CARE FOR them, and only if they're going to do it very carefully, and they MUST do it THEIR WAY because the fear of pain, damage, being dominated, being disrespected, or being taken advantage of is all-consuming.

The focus of Narcissists is on themselves being right, being innocent, being in control, being superior, and therefore "entitled" to be above reproach, judgment, disagreement or shame all of the time.

If they disagree with a target, they're right; if a target disagrees with them, they're still right, because they see every thought, feeling, and action as either "right" or "wrong"; there are no discussions where one learns new things or other points of view from the other (unless the other person has been designated as a "Leader" or "Guru" person). (Targets are NEVER learned from because they are seen as categorically inferior, they are always seen as "wrong", or "trying to get attention", or "rebelling").

It's really all about self-protection, self-preservation, and feeling like they belong and are important and in control. They achieve the feeling of belonging and superiority by pointing to someone else and saying "look everyone, HE or SHE doesn't belong with US, he or she isn't as good as WE are!" This creates a feeling of "us" vs. "them", which makes the pointer an automatic member of the "US" group.

To a Narcissist, anyone who is not playing and living exactly to their own personal parameters that make them comfortable, and let them feel like they're in CONTROL and ABOVE, is being hostile, crazy, out-of-line, demanding, and self-centered.

They may have developed it during childhood, protecting themselves from the people around them, because they were not receiving adequate protection and guidance from mature adults (whatever the individual circumstance).

Basic Narcissism behavior is not from a person being innately superior and therefore deserving control and power, even if the Narcissist believes this to be so.
It's developed from fear of being inferior, dominated, rejected, unrecognized, unloved, unwanted, disrespected, and out of control. It's ALL ABOUT dynamics with other humans.