"Topic dodging is a political control tactic that's used often in regular conversation.
You say "Look at that tree, what kind is it?"
I say "Which tree?"
You say "That tree, right in the middle."
I say "That tree? Oh I thought you meant the one over there with the red pointy leaves, that's a Tupelo tree. See it?"
You say "Oh yeah" and look at the Tupelo tree.
I say "They're really good for carving wooden models like ducks. The wood is easy to work. It's also used for pulp for making paper, and it's used for the inside of plywood, and the inside of furniture."
You say "Oh interesting" or "I have one in my backyard" or "My cousin carves ducks". You might be impressed, or you might be annoyed, but either way I was successful in my intention to divert the topic.
Now you've forgotten about the original tree, pretty much, and your original question, and I don't have to admit that I don't know what kind of tree it was. Also, the impression now (unless you realize what I did) is that I'm more knowledgeable than you are about trees in general; I knew facts about trees and you didn't even know the names of the trees. I "win", I just smoke screened you into allowing me to be "dominant", subconsciously now you might actually see me as the Leader in our relationship. My intent was really just to avoid answering the tree question without getting noticed, but the effects of my dodging went further.
What you don't realize is that it was only one tree that I knew about, and it was limited information. I kept talking, filling the air with "facts" so I could keep control of the topic, and you wouldn't ask anymore direct questions, so I would not have to admit not knowing the answers. And even if you did ask another question, I could have done it again with each new question. As long as you don't realize I'm diverting the subject, you won't catch on.
Insecure people may do this often, trying to avoid embarrassment or ridicule, but Narcissists nearly always do this when they don't know an answer or don't like a topic. They can not just say "I don't know", and they can't have someone who's 'supposed to be' lesser than them know something that they don't.
You say "Look at that tree, what kind is it?"
I say "Which tree?"
You say "That tree, right in the middle."
I say "That tree? Oh I thought you meant the one over there with the red pointy leaves, that's a Tupelo tree. See it?"
You say "Oh yeah" and look at the Tupelo tree.
I say "They're really good for carving wooden models like ducks. The wood is easy to work. It's also used for pulp for making paper, and it's used for the inside of plywood, and the inside of furniture."
You say "Oh interesting" or "I have one in my backyard" or "My cousin carves ducks". You might be impressed, or you might be annoyed, but either way I was successful in my intention to divert the topic.
Now you've forgotten about the original tree, pretty much, and your original question, and I don't have to admit that I don't know what kind of tree it was. Also, the impression now (unless you realize what I did) is that I'm more knowledgeable than you are about trees in general; I knew facts about trees and you didn't even know the names of the trees. I "win", I just smoke screened you into allowing me to be "dominant", subconsciously now you might actually see me as the Leader in our relationship. My intent was really just to avoid answering the tree question without getting noticed, but the effects of my dodging went further.
What you don't realize is that it was only one tree that I knew about, and it was limited information. I kept talking, filling the air with "facts" so I could keep control of the topic, and you wouldn't ask anymore direct questions, so I would not have to admit not knowing the answers. And even if you did ask another question, I could have done it again with each new question. As long as you don't realize I'm diverting the subject, you won't catch on.
Insecure people may do this often, trying to avoid embarrassment or ridicule, but Narcissists nearly always do this when they don't know an answer or don't like a topic. They can not just say "I don't know", and they can't have someone who's 'supposed to be' lesser than them know something that they don't.
