What's your fault in a painful relationship?
~
He ignores you when you talk...
Nope, not your fault.
~
She stands you up for dinner or lunch dates...
Nope, not your fault.
~
He criticizes your hair and clothes...
Nope, not your fault.
~
She criticizes the way you walk...
Nope, not your fault.
~
He accuses you of flirting with random men when you are quite certain you're not...
Nope.
~
She tells you you should "just get over it"...
Nope.
~
He always seems to have something more important going on than spending time with you...
Nope.
~
She accuses you of being crazy or abusive every time you're upset about her name-calling and aggression.
Nope.
~
He often critiques, assesses, and criticizes your "housekeeping", your driving, and your decisions.
Nope, still not your fault.
~
She changes the subject every time you're speaking.
Nope, not your fault.
~
He got fired.
Nope.
~
She was in your car when someone else hit you from behind.
Nope.
~
He pays way more attention to and engages much more with other women, and to other people in general, than to you, both in social media (Facebook) and in real life.
No, still not your fault.
~
She doesn't like what you do for a living, or what your interests, pursuits, and goals are.
Nope.
So what the heck IS your fault?
Here's a hint: The only things that are your "fault" are things that YOU do and say, not things that THEY do and say. If you said something mean to them, that's your "fault", you did that. If they said something mean to you, that's THEIR accountability. THEY said the mean thing, not you. If they didn't call you back so you got mad and retaliated, that retaliation is yours, you own it. If they retaliate BACK, that's THEIR action, they own it.
If someone is criticizing you left and right, putting you down, lying, putting other people above you, then there is something seriously wrong with this picture. Why would they DO things like that to ANYONE (can you picture them doing those things to their best friend, or their favorite rock star?) and also, why are you allowing it?
~
He ignores you when you talk...
Nope, not your fault.
~
She stands you up for dinner or lunch dates...
Nope, not your fault.
~
He criticizes your hair and clothes...
Nope, not your fault.
~
She criticizes the way you walk...
Nope, not your fault.
~
He accuses you of flirting with random men when you are quite certain you're not...
Nope.
~
She tells you you should "just get over it"...
Nope.
~
He always seems to have something more important going on than spending time with you...
Nope.
~
She accuses you of being crazy or abusive every time you're upset about her name-calling and aggression.
Nope.
~
He often critiques, assesses, and criticizes your "housekeeping", your driving, and your decisions.
Nope, still not your fault.
~
She changes the subject every time you're speaking.
Nope, not your fault.
~
He got fired.
Nope.
~
She was in your car when someone else hit you from behind.
Nope.
~
He pays way more attention to and engages much more with other women, and to other people in general, than to you, both in social media (Facebook) and in real life.
No, still not your fault.
~
She doesn't like what you do for a living, or what your interests, pursuits, and goals are.
Nope.
So what the heck IS your fault?
Here's a hint: The only things that are your "fault" are things that YOU do and say, not things that THEY do and say. If you said something mean to them, that's your "fault", you did that. If they said something mean to you, that's THEIR accountability. THEY said the mean thing, not you. If they didn't call you back so you got mad and retaliated, that retaliation is yours, you own it. If they retaliate BACK, that's THEIR action, they own it.
If someone is criticizing you left and right, putting you down, lying, putting other people above you, then there is something seriously wrong with this picture. Why would they DO things like that to ANYONE (can you picture them doing those things to their best friend, or their favorite rock star?) and also, why are you allowing it?
