When we're annoyed and upset that strangers, acquaintances, and not very close friends don't know "important things" about us, we may be either immature or possibly have some kind of disorder or illness (even anxiety or trauma).
But when we're annoyed and upset that those close to us don't acknowledge anything "important" about us, don't seem to know or care about what we do or say (except perhaps to criticize and gossip), and seem very indifferent and dismissive to things we've accomplished, experienced, endured, or just our knowledge base, capability, skill set and character (our real one, not the one in their imagination), we are probably reacting in a realistic way to a narcissistic dynamic.
Not being "paranoid" or "needy".
Only in dysfunctional groups does this dismissive and shunning attitude to certain individuals occur, not in healthy groups where no envy, narcissism, control fixation or ill will is present.
To gauge this in a more accurate way, to see if it's "me" or "them", one can literally observe by comparative observation how much positive attention gets paid TO WHOM, BY WHOM. One MUST include one's self in the observations, relating to all others.
What's really going on?
If one realizes that one does not support or acknowledge or respect others, then find out the underlying reason for this.
Is it just being lazy or self-centered, or is there some kind of codependency dynamic within the system, and being supportive of others actually brings consequences from someone?
Has one backed off because one's SUPPORT or contribution is also dismissed and brushed aside, as if it's unimportant or unwanted, in the same way that their accomplishments, painful experiences, or hardships are ignored?
There is always more going on in any human group, especially in unhealthy groups, than meets the eye.
Once a person has backed away from a group, any group, because they became tired of being treated like they were unwanted, incompetent, unintelligent, unstable, or untrustworthy, it may not be possible to convince them to come back. Healthy minded people can only take so much disrespect before they turn and walk away, detaching and disassociating themselves from the group. Even if the person who wants them to come back wasn't one of the "disrespecters", if the environment hasn't changed, and if no one stands up for them, or acknowledges them, the person in question will probably keep walking. And they probably should, for their own sake.
But when we're annoyed and upset that those close to us don't acknowledge anything "important" about us, don't seem to know or care about what we do or say (except perhaps to criticize and gossip), and seem very indifferent and dismissive to things we've accomplished, experienced, endured, or just our knowledge base, capability, skill set and character (our real one, not the one in their imagination), we are probably reacting in a realistic way to a narcissistic dynamic.
Not being "paranoid" or "needy".
Only in dysfunctional groups does this dismissive and shunning attitude to certain individuals occur, not in healthy groups where no envy, narcissism, control fixation or ill will is present.
To gauge this in a more accurate way, to see if it's "me" or "them", one can literally observe by comparative observation how much positive attention gets paid TO WHOM, BY WHOM. One MUST include one's self in the observations, relating to all others.
What's really going on?
If one realizes that one does not support or acknowledge or respect others, then find out the underlying reason for this.
Is it just being lazy or self-centered, or is there some kind of codependency dynamic within the system, and being supportive of others actually brings consequences from someone?
Has one backed off because one's SUPPORT or contribution is also dismissed and brushed aside, as if it's unimportant or unwanted, in the same way that their accomplishments, painful experiences, or hardships are ignored?
There is always more going on in any human group, especially in unhealthy groups, than meets the eye.
Once a person has backed away from a group, any group, because they became tired of being treated like they were unwanted, incompetent, unintelligent, unstable, or untrustworthy, it may not be possible to convince them to come back. Healthy minded people can only take so much disrespect before they turn and walk away, detaching and disassociating themselves from the group. Even if the person who wants them to come back wasn't one of the "disrespecters", if the environment hasn't changed, and if no one stands up for them, or acknowledges them, the person in question will probably keep walking. And they probably should, for their own sake.
