A
favorite weapon of Narcissistic controllers is implying that a target
is not contributing enough, and therefore they don't "deserve" to be
safe in a home, be included or welcome in their family, or be accepted
in a friendship circle.
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This is a control tool. It's not how healthy families function, and it's definitely not "love".
~
"Punishing" others with the threat of being ejected from SHELTER,
ACCEPTANCE, or SAFETY is a serious and flagrant power issue, and can
cause huge upheaval and trauma for a target.
~
This is a common
practice seen in parents, other "caregivers" (including foster
parents), employers, and also platonic "friends" who suffer from
Narcissism.
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The Narcissist uses this weapon with ZERO
remorse, and ZERO care about where the person would go, if they have
another place to stay, or if they have any resources or support.
~
A Non-Narcissist who needs to change a living situation because of
genuine issues, like they need other to contribute more rent, or work
more hours, or do more of something in order to sustain the situation,
would NOT use threats like that, OR EVER cut straight to actually
"ejecting" a person with no remorse, or giving them time to prepare.
Even if a person within the household, family, friendship circle or
workplace was behaving in dysfunctional, gluttonous, or abusive ways,
unless their behavior was a serious threat, they would be spoken to
about it long before there was any reference to "kicking them out",
rejecting them, or firing them.
~
Ejection and rejection are
LAST RESORTS in healthy human groups, relationships, and situations;
they are not "go-to" tools that one pulls out of the arsenal every time
one feels overwhelmed, rejected, unappreciated, lonely, upset, or angry.
~
Those with N.P.D. will actually reject and shun a person
just because their "plans changed", mood swings and bad feelings don't
even have to enter the picture. They might blame the person who's being
rejected FOR the rejection, and it might even LOOK like a mood swing to
lend credibility, but that's just to divert blame and accountability off
of themselves.
