"I wish I could think of a good come-back... I always think of something good to say LATER..."
Bullies realize early in life, from testing others, that when they surprise a person with an insult, a put-down, or a threatening implication or gesture, the person is often rendered speechless and startled. They know it happens, but few know WHY, they usually seem to think it's because THEY are soooo scary or sooo witty... really though it's just the natural startle response. The brain detects a threat, and so it turns on "high alert" and scans to see if the danger is serious or not. We're not rendered "stupid" when this happens, we're actually MORE vigilant and alert, but our "wit" may have been diverted temporarily into the fight-or-flight part of the brain. It is possible to improve our ability to think of quick come-backs with practice.
Think of a better insult... this scene in "Roxanne", Steve Martin's Cyrano film, is where he squishes this aspiring bully into the carpet with a list of 20 much more creative insults than "Big Nose" ...
Bullies realize early in life, from testing others, that when they surprise a person with an insult, a put-down, or a threatening implication or gesture, the person is often rendered speechless and startled. They know it happens, but few know WHY, they usually seem to think it's because THEY are soooo scary or sooo witty... really though it's just the natural startle response. The brain detects a threat, and so it turns on "high alert" and scans to see if the danger is serious or not. We're not rendered "stupid" when this happens, we're actually MORE vigilant and alert, but our "wit" may have been diverted temporarily into the fight-or-flight part of the brain. It is possible to improve our ability to think of quick come-backs with practice.
Think of a better insult... this scene in "Roxanne", Steve Martin's Cyrano film, is where he squishes this aspiring bully into the carpet with a list of 20 much more creative insults than "Big Nose" ...
