Controllers don't need to consciously plan out what they're going to do or say in order to establish or re-establish control over another person. They have behavioral habits that become second-nature.
Such as: When a Target brings up a topic, Controllers nearly always divert the conversation away from that topic, no matter what it is.
So if Jim says "Did you see those fire engines out front earlier?" Steve, the Controller, might reply "You should have seen the accident on I-95 yesterday! There was like 5 police cars and..."
Instead of staying on the topic that Jim brought up, Steve simply changes it to HIS topic.
Another tactic is invalidation. So if Jim says "Did you see those fire engines..?" Steve the Controller might say, "What fire engines? I didn't see any, I was here all day. If there was anything major going on we would have heard about it, anyway."
Another one is invalidation with INSULT, so Steve's reply might sound like "What fire engines? I didn't see any. Don't get your panties in a knot. You should have seen the accident on the highway, that was serious..."
Insulting a Target in front of others humiliates the Target, but that's not the primary goal. The real goal is for the Controller to appear to OTHERS as "more powerful" and "higher status" than the Target.
(Same goal as Chimpanzee power/status displays.)
Humans use language as an added tactic to Chimpanzee 'power' displays; successfully humiliating a Target means that the display has worked, especially if others laugh or scoff. Language displays are often used by those who feel insecure in their 'status position' in their social hierarchy. Making fun of people, insulting them, and calling them names either to their face or behind their backs are a substitute for physical displays.
That's why if YOU stand up for the person who's being insulted or trashed, YOU GET TURNED ON by the insulter (and by other equally primitive/immature onlookers), because you're "challenging" the status display, and you're 'wrecking' the intended outcome.
Such as: When a Target brings up a topic, Controllers nearly always divert the conversation away from that topic, no matter what it is.
So if Jim says "Did you see those fire engines out front earlier?" Steve, the Controller, might reply "You should have seen the accident on I-95 yesterday! There was like 5 police cars and..."
Instead of staying on the topic that Jim brought up, Steve simply changes it to HIS topic.
Another tactic is invalidation. So if Jim says "Did you see those fire engines..?" Steve the Controller might say, "What fire engines? I didn't see any, I was here all day. If there was anything major going on we would have heard about it, anyway."
Another one is invalidation with INSULT, so Steve's reply might sound like "What fire engines? I didn't see any. Don't get your panties in a knot. You should have seen the accident on the highway, that was serious..."
Insulting a Target in front of others humiliates the Target, but that's not the primary goal. The real goal is for the Controller to appear to OTHERS as "more powerful" and "higher status" than the Target.
(Same goal as Chimpanzee power/status displays.)
Humans use language as an added tactic to Chimpanzee 'power' displays; successfully humiliating a Target means that the display has worked, especially if others laugh or scoff. Language displays are often used by those who feel insecure in their 'status position' in their social hierarchy. Making fun of people, insulting them, and calling them names either to their face or behind their backs are a substitute for physical displays.
That's why if YOU stand up for the person who's being insulted or trashed, YOU GET TURNED ON by the insulter (and by other equally primitive/immature onlookers), because you're "challenging" the status display, and you're 'wrecking' the intended outcome.
