Those with Narcissism issues, whether they'd be "diagnosable" or not, may inadvertently "gaslight" a target by moving their possessions around, taking their possessions, throwing them out, or giving them away to other people.
This gaslighting with STUFF is not necessarily on purpose, so it's not really "gaslighting"; that's when it's INTENDED to make a target look crazy or think they're crazy, that's the GOAL.
People with N. issues tend to actually believe that any "stuff" that's within their grasp belongs to them, so they may do things that look like gaslighting, and WILL confuse a target or make them feel "crazy", but if that's not their actual GOAL, then it's not really "gaslighting". It's just self-centeredness, inconsideration, bad manners, and disrespect.
In other words there are reasons behind some of these behaviors that may or may not have anything to do with purposeful targeting of a person.
Those who have N. issues may treat their own possessions and personal space with the utmost respect, but will NOT treat another person's possessions and space with respect. They might throw a person's coat into a closet instead of hanging it up neatly, but their own coats will be hung neatly. They might be very, very careful about their own car's finish, but sit on, put stuff on, step on, even dent or scratch up another person's car.
THEIR possessions are treated with very high regard, but other people's possessions are treated like scraps and junk.
It's not necessarily because they are trying to ruin the other person's things, it's that they honestly see their own things as "very valuable", and another person's things as "not valuable", AS IF the other person SHARES the SAME POINT OF VIEW. They believe that it's actually TRUE, objectively.
Taking things AWAY from a target without their knowledge, taking things away just so a target can't have or use them, is still not really gaslighting. It's possessiveness, and most N's have this issue.
~If the possession belongs to the Target, then it's technically "stealing", but N's usually have a hard time making that distinction; if they think something is rightfuly THEIRS, or even if it could KIND OF, MAYBE belong to them, or if it's "public property", or if it's left out, they don't think they're "stealing". "Possession is 9/10ths of the law" is a favorite Narcissist phrase, they often use it to justify keeping something that belongs to someone else (but of course they'll freak out if someone uses that on them).
They think that everything belongs to them (except for things they don't WANT), so if they see a Target using something or enjoying it, they might take it, or HIDE IT, so the Target can't use it anymore. Just like when a dog takes another dog's bone away, just because the dog wants to own and control BOTH bones, ALL the bones; he or she can't stand watching another dog enjoying a bone.
The behavior of Giving Things Away to others is about the N's image; they are being seen by others as a "Giver", as "generous", and as "kind". When they can give someone else's stuff away, that's an added benefit, because they aren't losing anything.
This is something that many children might do before they learn to respect other people's ownership of possessions, or understand that something they're giving away to a friend was very expensive or valuable. Like giving away a valuable antique bicycle that their parents "never use" to one of their friends; the child doesn't understand why it's wrong, he or she is just trying to do something "good", or be SEEN as doing something good. The loss that it causes the child's parents is not even in his or her mind; he or she simply hasn't learned about that yet.
When an adult is still in this stage, they may do a lot of giving in order to maintain their "giving person" image, but they don't care WHO'S STUFF they give away, and if it's not THEIR STUFF, even better (for them).
~A person with serious "NPD" might do this behavior to an extreme degree, giving away anything that belongs to others, giving away other people's money, volunteering their children for service to others, (good service or BAD "service"), even giving away their own children in some cases. This is STILL not about their children, and that's part of the problem; nothing is, it's ALL about them.
Those with N. issues WITH "OCPD" (Obsessive Compulsive Pers. Disorder, not the same as "OCD") might move a person's stuff around, rearrange it, or throw it away. Again, those with N. issues think that everything in their personal vicinity is under their ownership and jurisdiction, so they may go in another person's bedroom and rearrange everything, and feel entitled to throw things away.
Those who live with a person who has this kind of profile learn to never leave anything out that they want to keep, to hide things, to avoid drawing attention to themselves, and are not shocked (angry, but not shocked) when they notice something else missing. (People with OCPD, esp. who have N. issues, are the ones who are constantly touching and rearranging other people's hair and clothing, trying to dictate and control their movements, criticizing them and their appearance, "correcting" everything they do, "advising" them about everything, and feeling entitled to know ALL of their personal business. ~ As if the person is one of their dolls or action figures.)
Their behavior is LIKE gaslighting, but if the intention is not to cause the target to feel like they're crazy, or make them look crazy to others, then it's not really gaslighting by definition.
PURPOSELY moving stuff around, removing things, or breaking things in order to sabotage a target's project, goal, or performance IS a form of "gaslighting", and it's usually done by those who do have the Narcissism disorder (if they're adults).
Purposely moving things, changing things, or taking them away in order to confuse a target IS DEFINITELY "gaslighting".
Lying about where things are in order to confuse a target is also "gaslighting".
"Gaslighting" is about doing things covertly with the INTENTION of confusing or humiliating the Target, and also with the INTENTION of making the Target LOOK "crazy" or "unstable" to others.
Sabotage of any kind is commonly done by people who do have the Narcissism disorder, especially if they're adults.
This gaslighting with STUFF is not necessarily on purpose, so it's not really "gaslighting"; that's when it's INTENDED to make a target look crazy or think they're crazy, that's the GOAL.
People with N. issues tend to actually believe that any "stuff" that's within their grasp belongs to them, so they may do things that look like gaslighting, and WILL confuse a target or make them feel "crazy", but if that's not their actual GOAL, then it's not really "gaslighting". It's just self-centeredness, inconsideration, bad manners, and disrespect.
In other words there are reasons behind some of these behaviors that may or may not have anything to do with purposeful targeting of a person.
Those who have N. issues may treat their own possessions and personal space with the utmost respect, but will NOT treat another person's possessions and space with respect. They might throw a person's coat into a closet instead of hanging it up neatly, but their own coats will be hung neatly. They might be very, very careful about their own car's finish, but sit on, put stuff on, step on, even dent or scratch up another person's car.
THEIR possessions are treated with very high regard, but other people's possessions are treated like scraps and junk.
It's not necessarily because they are trying to ruin the other person's things, it's that they honestly see their own things as "very valuable", and another person's things as "not valuable", AS IF the other person SHARES the SAME POINT OF VIEW. They believe that it's actually TRUE, objectively.
Taking things AWAY from a target without their knowledge, taking things away just so a target can't have or use them, is still not really gaslighting. It's possessiveness, and most N's have this issue.
~If the possession belongs to the Target, then it's technically "stealing", but N's usually have a hard time making that distinction; if they think something is rightfuly THEIRS, or even if it could KIND OF, MAYBE belong to them, or if it's "public property", or if it's left out, they don't think they're "stealing". "Possession is 9/10ths of the law" is a favorite Narcissist phrase, they often use it to justify keeping something that belongs to someone else (but of course they'll freak out if someone uses that on them).
They think that everything belongs to them (except for things they don't WANT), so if they see a Target using something or enjoying it, they might take it, or HIDE IT, so the Target can't use it anymore. Just like when a dog takes another dog's bone away, just because the dog wants to own and control BOTH bones, ALL the bones; he or she can't stand watching another dog enjoying a bone.
The behavior of Giving Things Away to others is about the N's image; they are being seen by others as a "Giver", as "generous", and as "kind". When they can give someone else's stuff away, that's an added benefit, because they aren't losing anything.
This is something that many children might do before they learn to respect other people's ownership of possessions, or understand that something they're giving away to a friend was very expensive or valuable. Like giving away a valuable antique bicycle that their parents "never use" to one of their friends; the child doesn't understand why it's wrong, he or she is just trying to do something "good", or be SEEN as doing something good. The loss that it causes the child's parents is not even in his or her mind; he or she simply hasn't learned about that yet.
When an adult is still in this stage, they may do a lot of giving in order to maintain their "giving person" image, but they don't care WHO'S STUFF they give away, and if it's not THEIR STUFF, even better (for them).
~A person with serious "NPD" might do this behavior to an extreme degree, giving away anything that belongs to others, giving away other people's money, volunteering their children for service to others, (good service or BAD "service"), even giving away their own children in some cases. This is STILL not about their children, and that's part of the problem; nothing is, it's ALL about them.
Those with N. issues WITH "OCPD" (Obsessive Compulsive Pers. Disorder, not the same as "OCD") might move a person's stuff around, rearrange it, or throw it away. Again, those with N. issues think that everything in their personal vicinity is under their ownership and jurisdiction, so they may go in another person's bedroom and rearrange everything, and feel entitled to throw things away.
Those who live with a person who has this kind of profile learn to never leave anything out that they want to keep, to hide things, to avoid drawing attention to themselves, and are not shocked (angry, but not shocked) when they notice something else missing. (People with OCPD, esp. who have N. issues, are the ones who are constantly touching and rearranging other people's hair and clothing, trying to dictate and control their movements, criticizing them and their appearance, "correcting" everything they do, "advising" them about everything, and feeling entitled to know ALL of their personal business. ~ As if the person is one of their dolls or action figures.)
Their behavior is LIKE gaslighting, but if the intention is not to cause the target to feel like they're crazy, or make them look crazy to others, then it's not really gaslighting by definition.
PURPOSELY moving stuff around, removing things, or breaking things in order to sabotage a target's project, goal, or performance IS a form of "gaslighting", and it's usually done by those who do have the Narcissism disorder (if they're adults).
Purposely moving things, changing things, or taking them away in order to confuse a target IS DEFINITELY "gaslighting".
Lying about where things are in order to confuse a target is also "gaslighting".
"Gaslighting" is about doing things covertly with the INTENTION of confusing or humiliating the Target, and also with the INTENTION of making the Target LOOK "crazy" or "unstable" to others.
Sabotage of any kind is commonly done by people who do have the Narcissism disorder, especially if they're adults.
