One
of the reasons it's hard to separate from ANY type of relationship with a
Narcissistic person is worry about the AFTERMATH, the fallout.
People who have Narcissism typically try to turn everyone connected to them against a person whom they realize is distancing themselves from them.
They often take ostracism, smearing, and slander to a very dramatic level, especially if they're afraid that the targeted person might tell others what really went on.
So separating from a Narcissistic person doesn't end with separation from the person, like it would with a non-narcissistic person. There will most likely be whole groups of other mutual friends, family, and associates who "shun" the person, and treat the person like they "don't belong" or are "unwanted", because they bought into the N's slander/ smearing/ drama routine.
This smear-and-shun routine directly affects the person's entire life, children, reputation and livelihood.
It might be little comfort to know that only easily-led people, and those who enjoy drama, go along with smear and slander campaigns, but that doesn't fix the actual damage it can cause to a person's life or their children's lives.
By the time a person decides to distance themselves from the N friend, family members, spouse, coworker, or acquaintance, they're at least subconsciously aware that the potential for exaggerated drama is quite high.
Most N's "retaliate" in some way when they feel challenged or rejected in any way, either directly or indirectly, and they tend to immediately devalue and despise anyone who seems to NOT adulate, enable, or follow them.
The point is, the anxiety about distancing one's self from a person with Narcissism is likely to be about MORE than just separating from the person.
It's also about losing a network, group, or community of people, and also certain individuals that one knows the N. will "take with them". And not just losing the people, but also dealing with them "turning", like flying monkeys.
It can be daunting, and the worry and anxiety about it can be hidden from one's conscious awareness, thus holding one back from doing what they need to do, because it seems like "fear of the unknown".
People who have Narcissism typically try to turn everyone connected to them against a person whom they realize is distancing themselves from them.
They often take ostracism, smearing, and slander to a very dramatic level, especially if they're afraid that the targeted person might tell others what really went on.
So separating from a Narcissistic person doesn't end with separation from the person, like it would with a non-narcissistic person. There will most likely be whole groups of other mutual friends, family, and associates who "shun" the person, and treat the person like they "don't belong" or are "unwanted", because they bought into the N's slander/ smearing/ drama routine.
This smear-and-shun routine directly affects the person's entire life, children, reputation and livelihood.
It might be little comfort to know that only easily-led people, and those who enjoy drama, go along with smear and slander campaigns, but that doesn't fix the actual damage it can cause to a person's life or their children's lives.
By the time a person decides to distance themselves from the N friend, family members, spouse, coworker, or acquaintance, they're at least subconsciously aware that the potential for exaggerated drama is quite high.
Most N's "retaliate" in some way when they feel challenged or rejected in any way, either directly or indirectly, and they tend to immediately devalue and despise anyone who seems to NOT adulate, enable, or follow them.
The point is, the anxiety about distancing one's self from a person with Narcissism is likely to be about MORE than just separating from the person.
It's also about losing a network, group, or community of people, and also certain individuals that one knows the N. will "take with them". And not just losing the people, but also dealing with them "turning", like flying monkeys.
It can be daunting, and the worry and anxiety about it can be hidden from one's conscious awareness, thus holding one back from doing what they need to do, because it seems like "fear of the unknown".
