My Sister Is A Slut

There are no Scarlet Letters in a healthy family. When you and other family members set up one of your family members as a Scapegoat, you are damning them to a life of struggle, and their children, and their children's children. This is not opinion, it's fact. A healthy family does not exile or scapegoat a child, or anyone else, and the fact is, most who are set up as Scapegoats are not actually ... the kind of person they are made out to be. ONLY unhealthy people do that; gossip about one of their own, turn on one of their own, make one of their own a target for a "bad reputation", Victim-blame them as if all the things they went through was their fault. (abusers always blame the victim. Healthy people want EVERYONE to be happy and healthy, and included in the Family, they don't trash and blame and ostracize.) Those who have been Scapegoated can do this as well to someone else, as an attempt to get out of being the targeted one; they pick someone else, usually a person who they think is not going to bite back, as the "new" Scapegoat, and proceed to trash them, abuse them, use them, and trying to convince others to see them as a bad person. Scapegoating is about making one's own self look innocent and good, and another person look bad. That's not what people who care do. Once your family has scapegoated one of its members (usually because someone is protecting whoever abused that person, and/or because someone is jealous of that person), they will no longer receive normal emotional support, normal respect, normal inclusion, normal anything. Family members will play "keep away" with all the regular resources and support from this person, and WATCH as that person's self-esteem crumbles, and if this person tries to get away from this abuse, they will try to cast even more shame and blame on them. They WANT this person to be close enough so they can keep them as a Scapegoat, they certainly don't want this person to escape their web and find success. Scapegoats often keep trying to gain back their membership status in the family group, to be seen and respected as a fully viable and "real" member who deserves the same respect that others are getting. However- no matter WHAT the Scapegoat EVER does, the rest of the family will STILL continue to degrade, dismiss, and belittle them. If a Scapegoat became President of the United States, they will say that he or she slept or bought their way to the top. They will never let go of the Scapegoating, they NEED to have someone to stand on TOP of in order to feel like there is someone they are "better than". They will do this to the children of the Scapegoat as well, and they will also TEACH the Scapegoat's children, directly or by behavior and example, to DISRESPECT the Scapegoat (the child's parent). This will lead to yet more lives filled with heartache, without normal resources and normal emotional support that other family members enjoy. Another foolish and common human tragedy that people just keep doing, and don't try to stop.