Healing From Trauma And Abuse

Healing is the most important thing we can do for ourselves when we have been through or are dealing with crisis, trauma, prolonged stress, and abuse.
Healing is even more important than understanding intellectually what's going on around us; we can figure things out as we go, and it will aid us tremendously in our recovery and in our future. However our main course of action must be, first and foremost, healing.

Recovering our health: emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

If you believe that stress from crisis, trauma, stress and abuse does not affect your body, your entire system, and your life span, think again. We are a living organism, and everything we think, feel and do is connected biologically and chemically. The chemicals that we produce when we are angry, strained, and trying to deal with stressful issues and people can cause a host of problems when they keep getting produced, get produced too much, and don't get flushed out. If we are always "on", they are constantly being produced. They are supposed to give a temporary "nudge", they're not meant for frequent production. Healing our bodies means healing our minds, hearts and spirits.

I've listed things that can help even when you're feeling like you don't want to get out of bed, are too exhausted to do laundry, or face more stress. You can find things yourself, of course, but this is a list you can use to get on the path to healing.

First of all, you need a sanctuary. Some place where you can go, where you feel safe. A place where you feel protected and genuinely safe. You can use any place for this, as long as it's clean and warm enough, and secure.The library, a church, a coffee shop, a bookstore, a room. Some place where you feel safe.
A sacred space, just for you. When you are in this space, remember your sacred spirit.

Play repetitive games or do repetitive mental puzzles. Believe it or not, studies have shown that playing the video game Tetris can alleviate signs and affects of PTSD if played soon after a traumatic incident. Bullying and abuse count as traumatic incidents. Since Tetris can help directly after trauma, I posit that it would help later as well. Think "smoothing my brain waves". Other repetitive tasks and games that are calmly played are often helpful to alleviate stress and calm anxiety. Lumosity is a website that purposely "retrains your brain", it's free to try it.
      Cool site I found :  http://www.freetetris.org/game.php

Watching "wholesome" movies can have a soothing effect on the brain. Television show series that are interesting, light hearted, show good relationships, and have a good message can be very helpful as well. We want low-stress and high entertainment value. Join Netflix or Hulu (regular Hulu is free). I don't know if there's any other sites like that currently. Shows I would recommend because they meet my personal healing criteria include: "Surface", "Dinotopia", "Kyle XY", "Star Trek: Next Generation", and "Merlin". Movies like "Hugo", "Time Bandits", "Tangled", "The Color of Magic", "Matilda", or older ones you enjoyed in your youth.  
>The goal is to let your brain rest and be soothed by a pleasant experience, undisturbed. Watch several in a row if you feel like it.

You have to eat. If you find your diet is erratic or depleted, get yourself protein or nutrition drinks, (not the same as energy drinks) and easy munchables like nuts, trail mix, granola bars, things that are easy and cheap but that have nutrition value. It's very, very important. Drink a protein/nutrition drink whenever you think of it. Like Ensure, Boost, or Slimfast, something you like. Have trail mix around and graze whenever you feel like it.

Music, Music, Music. Calming, soothing songs and tones are very helpful to facilitate short term and long term healing. Anger is a gift, and so is Peace. They must balance one another.

Paul Simon http://youtu.be/-IwYQ1Vqf_4   

Sarah McLachlan http://youtu.be/Hx4RsCfL_fA


Meditation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvXL-YLRq60


Express yourself! 
Write! Paint, draw, play your instrument, build things, sing, cook, take pictures, make things!
Here are some of my poems, I don't mind if you love them or hate them, or don't care about them, what matters most is that I had the opportunity to MAKE THEM!
Click to see M's Poetry

Observe what's going on around you. Who are the players, what are they doing? Click here for suggestion on how to observe more objectively:   Help You Help Yourself
Nature is free, and important. Remember that trees, plants and animals are living beings, and have no agenda. You can love every tree, flower, bird, and animal you see, and they will never judge you or talk about you. They just are, and they are truly alive, so your feelings for them are always real. The stars are always beautiful, and so is the ocean, and the lakes, and the rivers and waterfalls, and the sunrise, and the sunset. They are all still here, just like they always were, and they are all here for you, every day, all day long.

Connect carefully with human beings. Your boundaries need to heal. We don't owe it to other people to let them into our sacred space or past our boundaries. You don't need to connect with all kinds of people. This is your time to be protective of yourself, like you would protect someone else who is healing. Like you would protect your child. Do connect, however do so cautiously and carefully, and with distance and time. It is time to keep others at arm's length. True friends are few and far between, and will understand. Those who don't will fade away, and that's okay.
"Setting Personal Boundaries"

Counseling methods such as talk therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy can all be very helpful. It is good to have a neutral person with whom we can communicate openly, who can help guide us in our recovery. Counselors are human beings too, so they are still to be connected with carefully, with our boundaries in mind.
Click to learn about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Click to learn about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Remember your sacred life. Pray, rest, eat, and pray some more. Get lots of sleep. Go to church and sit in the back. Walk in the Library. Drink Herbal Tea. Go sit by water and just watch.

Take warm soaking bubble baths and/or showers as much as possible. Calgon, take me away, but really, do that. Take it as real healing. Adding Epsom salt to the water is supposed to enhance spiritual healing and cleansing. Adding bubbles to the water makes it excellent.

Healing methods such as Theta Healing and Reiki can be very helpful. Both are energy healing approaches that are administered by certified practitioners. When properly administered, both Theta and Reiki can produce unexpected and amazing results in healing. Belief that they work or that they're real doesn't seem to be a requirement, and just the human caring attention alone is proven to have profound healing properties.  Healing practitioners are, like counselors, also human beings, so they are also still to be connected with carefully, with our boundaries in mind. Theta and Reiki can be practiced at a distance as well as in person.
Click to learn about Reiki  
Click to learn about Theta Healing 

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian art of healing. Read about it here : Dr. Hew Len  and here

Here are some more links and names that I would personally recommend to review for your path of healing. You will find your own path and what works best for you. Keep believing in yourself, keep walking, keep believing, keep reaching out, and know that you are not alone.

Lisa Concidine is my favorite Theta Healing Practitioner, and a solid, grounded person at
 (425) 314-4051

Wonderful, grounded Reiki Practitioners who I know and would recommend personally for hands on or Distance Healing:

Cynthia Chase is an experienced Reiki Master and also a licensed therapist: Cynthia Chase

Georgia Slesinger counsels with several forms of healing: Georgia Slesinger

Cyndi Joy Lee is an experienced energy healer and Reiki Master, and also a songwriter and musician: Cyndi Joy Lee 250-215-9756

Edie Britt is an experienced Reiki healer at Woven Woman 

Energy Readings With Michele  You can receive an energy reading from Michele, it can help open up understanding and connect some of the pieces of your puzzle.

Links to learn about trauma and abuse, and find more healing, and places to connect and share:

Kim and Steve Cooper

Melanie Tonia Evans


After Narcissistic Abuse There Is Light And Love (facebook forum)

LeAnn Tavares  http://theunwrittenlotus.blogspot.com/2013/04/anxiety.html