Remember paper cup telephones? They only work if the line is tight, and both ends are being held. In a relationship with a Narcissist, it's like a telephone game between two children where one is being the Commander who gives orders into their cup, and one is being the Private who holds their cup to their ear and listens, and takes orders. No questions asked. Or the Boss and the Assistant, or the Royal and the Servant. One person talks, gives instruction and orders, and the other listens and does what he/she is told; that's the game, if you don't play "right" you're messing it up. Communication only goes one way, but both ends are being held.
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Imagine what it's like to be the one giving the "commands".
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Imagine if you had a string or a wire attached directly from you to the other person in your life. A "direct line" from them to you, That is how you like your life to be, that's what feels normal and right to you. A direct line from you to the other person, all the time; so when you pull on the string or send a message over the wire, the person on the other end feels or hears it immediately and responds right away. You know they feel the string pull or hear the message because it's a direct line, and you know they're holding it because the string is tight.
Now, picture having that same kind of direct line to more than one person, in fact every person in your life who's anything more than a distant acquaintance. If you feel that they're a personal connection, then you string the direct line.
Those who are closer to you have shorter, tighter lines, and you fully expect them to respond immediately whenever you give the slightest pull on their string. In fact, you expect them to be considerate enough to watch for you to get ready to pull the string or send a message on the wire; you think this would be the polite thing to do, for them to be vigilant of your needs so you don't HAVE TO pull the string or send a message at all.
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Having a direct string or wire to each person means that everyone needs to be careful of tangling the strings, or and careful of stepping back and pulling them from your skin. It would hurt if they pulled them, and if they got tangled it would create a mess. If they pulled them out then they wouldn't be attached to you, and therefore wouldn't know when you wanted them.
So, everyone has to make sure they remain orderly and in place, so as not to mess up the lines that are attached to YOU.
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The lines cannot be crossed because it could create interference, which means your communications could get interrupted or lost. Nor may people attach lines from one to another, because if you summon one of them, they might be busy tending to someone ELSE and won't be able to respond quickly enough.
It doesn't matter how many people you have direct connections to, every one of them is important; if you need a certain thing from a specific person, they MUST be available because only that person can fulfill that particular need. Besides, it's important to have as much back-up as possible.
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All of the lines only go one way. If you pull on them, they come to you. If someone else pulls on the line, you may answer, but you are not going to move to fulfill their request or their need; these are one-way only.
Like a light bulb with a pull-string: you pull the string, the light goes on. You pull it again, it goes off. The light bulb does not pull the string to make you do anything.
The only exception to this rule is if one of the lines would be pulled out or lost if you didn't do something to help the person (like when a light bulb needs to be changed because it's burned out). Then you might do something because if you don't, you'll risk losing that line, and possibly a couple of other lines as well. You don't want to lose any of them unless they don't "work" at all anymore.
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There is one or two people whom you have a two-way line with; when they pull on the line, you feel it and immediately jump to ask them what they need. It annoys you very much, even enrages you at times that they have the nerve to do this and expect you to jump for them. In retaliation, you pull on the line right back. They jump when you pull it, and they get angry also. So they pull the line and you jump, and you pull the line and they jump, and you both become angrier and angrier. You threaten to "pull out the line altogether" and so do they, but neither one of you does, because neither one of you wants to give up even ONE of your lines. You are also both afraid that if they pull out their line, it will mess up all the rest of the lines attached to all the other people. You don't want anyone to see someone pulling out a line, they might get ideas...
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Telephone Line
M.M. Black
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Imagine what it's like to be the one giving the "commands".
~
Imagine if you had a string or a wire attached directly from you to the other person in your life. A "direct line" from them to you, That is how you like your life to be, that's what feels normal and right to you. A direct line from you to the other person, all the time; so when you pull on the string or send a message over the wire, the person on the other end feels or hears it immediately and responds right away. You know they feel the string pull or hear the message because it's a direct line, and you know they're holding it because the string is tight.
Now, picture having that same kind of direct line to more than one person, in fact every person in your life who's anything more than a distant acquaintance. If you feel that they're a personal connection, then you string the direct line.
Those who are closer to you have shorter, tighter lines, and you fully expect them to respond immediately whenever you give the slightest pull on their string. In fact, you expect them to be considerate enough to watch for you to get ready to pull the string or send a message on the wire; you think this would be the polite thing to do, for them to be vigilant of your needs so you don't HAVE TO pull the string or send a message at all.
~
Having a direct string or wire to each person means that everyone needs to be careful of tangling the strings, or and careful of stepping back and pulling them from your skin. It would hurt if they pulled them, and if they got tangled it would create a mess. If they pulled them out then they wouldn't be attached to you, and therefore wouldn't know when you wanted them.
So, everyone has to make sure they remain orderly and in place, so as not to mess up the lines that are attached to YOU.
~
The lines cannot be crossed because it could create interference, which means your communications could get interrupted or lost. Nor may people attach lines from one to another, because if you summon one of them, they might be busy tending to someone ELSE and won't be able to respond quickly enough.
It doesn't matter how many people you have direct connections to, every one of them is important; if you need a certain thing from a specific person, they MUST be available because only that person can fulfill that particular need. Besides, it's important to have as much back-up as possible.
~
All of the lines only go one way. If you pull on them, they come to you. If someone else pulls on the line, you may answer, but you are not going to move to fulfill their request or their need; these are one-way only.
Like a light bulb with a pull-string: you pull the string, the light goes on. You pull it again, it goes off. The light bulb does not pull the string to make you do anything.
The only exception to this rule is if one of the lines would be pulled out or lost if you didn't do something to help the person (like when a light bulb needs to be changed because it's burned out). Then you might do something because if you don't, you'll risk losing that line, and possibly a couple of other lines as well. You don't want to lose any of them unless they don't "work" at all anymore.
~
There is one or two people whom you have a two-way line with; when they pull on the line, you feel it and immediately jump to ask them what they need. It annoys you very much, even enrages you at times that they have the nerve to do this and expect you to jump for them. In retaliation, you pull on the line right back. They jump when you pull it, and they get angry also. So they pull the line and you jump, and you pull the line and they jump, and you both become angrier and angrier. You threaten to "pull out the line altogether" and so do they, but neither one of you does, because neither one of you wants to give up even ONE of your lines. You are also both afraid that if they pull out their line, it will mess up all the rest of the lines attached to all the other people. You don't want anyone to see someone pulling out a line, they might get ideas...
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Telephone Line
M.M. Black
