"Projection" comes in different forms, and is done for different reasons by those with p.d.'s or mental illness.
It's most often, however, done in order to cast negativity onto another person in order to cast it off of one's self. Albeit in the realm of fantasy, still, it often works to quite an extent.
One such form of projection that is not spoken of very often is when an N. sufferer will talk about something terrible that happened to someone ELSE... how awful it is, how cruel, how traumatic, how serious, etc., the "projection" part is because the thing that they're talking about is the very thing that they either DID THEMSELVES, or that they REFUSED to acknowledge or help with when it happened to a person in their family, friend, or work circle.
To add salt to the punch, they will especially do this WHILE TALKING TO the person who it was done TO, who it happened TO.
If the event was honestly unknown to the Narcissist, that would be a different story, however if the person is a family member or a "close friend", chances are the Narcissist is fully aware.
This is a different form of the kind of projection where the disordered person accuses a target of doing the things the N. actually did. (Cheating on a partner is a common one; the cheater will accuse their partner of cheating, but N's will accuse their partners, friends, or family members of pretty much anything they've done, said, or felt.)
So for example, the Narcissist will talk about how awful it was that someone on Television was attacked and raped, "and by someone they KNEW, no less, and how AWFUL it must have been, and can you even IMAGINE what that must have been like?!? The poor woman!"
But they will be saying all this TO THEIR FRIEND WHO IS TRYING TO RECOVER FROM PTSD FROM BEING ATTACKED AND RAPED.
This kind of projection may be one of this individual Narcissist's defense mechanisms, OR another way to hurt and dominate another, depending on the individual N.'s mental profile. (It's not necessarily one or the other, it really might be a defense mechanism, but the damage it can cause is real either way.)
It can be an attempt to DELETE INFORMATION.
It can be an attempt to EDIT REALITY, and re-write the story, making the N. into one of the people who are appalled, concerned, empathetic and caring, which makes them NOT one of the people who "don't care".
It's basically the same behavior N's display when they treat a person like a NOVICE, a BEGINNER, or CLUELESS, when they want to pretend that the person is NOT knowledgeable or skilled about something. (This can be seen quite often in Western culture fields of work and study.)
Again, for example, the Narcissist may have heard that a relative is emotionally/mentally abusive to their child. Amazingly, the Narcissist will convey the tragic news in detail, TO their own child that they treated in exactly the same way.
Now, if the person was NOT a Narcissist, and they actually just FORGOT about the other person's traumatic events due to perhaps stress, age, or just a memory lapse, then when the person said something like "Yes I'm all too familiar with that", the Non-Narcissist would almost certainly feel something like chagrin, embarrassment, guilt, and sympathy, and then make verbal apologies, and invite the person to talk about it.
When the person IS a Narcissist, if the other person said something like "Yes I'm all too familiar with that", then the N. would immediately become defensive, invalidate them, GO SILENT, go into a "mood" or a "rage", or accuse them of LYING, depending on the severity of the N's illness.
It's most often, however, done in order to cast negativity onto another person in order to cast it off of one's self. Albeit in the realm of fantasy, still, it often works to quite an extent.
One such form of projection that is not spoken of very often is when an N. sufferer will talk about something terrible that happened to someone ELSE... how awful it is, how cruel, how traumatic, how serious, etc., the "projection" part is because the thing that they're talking about is the very thing that they either DID THEMSELVES, or that they REFUSED to acknowledge or help with when it happened to a person in their family, friend, or work circle.
To add salt to the punch, they will especially do this WHILE TALKING TO the person who it was done TO, who it happened TO.
If the event was honestly unknown to the Narcissist, that would be a different story, however if the person is a family member or a "close friend", chances are the Narcissist is fully aware.
This is a different form of the kind of projection where the disordered person accuses a target of doing the things the N. actually did. (Cheating on a partner is a common one; the cheater will accuse their partner of cheating, but N's will accuse their partners, friends, or family members of pretty much anything they've done, said, or felt.)
So for example, the Narcissist will talk about how awful it was that someone on Television was attacked and raped, "and by someone they KNEW, no less, and how AWFUL it must have been, and can you even IMAGINE what that must have been like?!? The poor woman!"
But they will be saying all this TO THEIR FRIEND WHO IS TRYING TO RECOVER FROM PTSD FROM BEING ATTACKED AND RAPED.
This kind of projection may be one of this individual Narcissist's defense mechanisms, OR another way to hurt and dominate another, depending on the individual N.'s mental profile. (It's not necessarily one or the other, it really might be a defense mechanism, but the damage it can cause is real either way.)
It can be an attempt to DELETE INFORMATION.
It can be an attempt to EDIT REALITY, and re-write the story, making the N. into one of the people who are appalled, concerned, empathetic and caring, which makes them NOT one of the people who "don't care".
It's basically the same behavior N's display when they treat a person like a NOVICE, a BEGINNER, or CLUELESS, when they want to pretend that the person is NOT knowledgeable or skilled about something. (This can be seen quite often in Western culture fields of work and study.)
Again, for example, the Narcissist may have heard that a relative is emotionally/mentally abusive to their child. Amazingly, the Narcissist will convey the tragic news in detail, TO their own child that they treated in exactly the same way.
Now, if the person was NOT a Narcissist, and they actually just FORGOT about the other person's traumatic events due to perhaps stress, age, or just a memory lapse, then when the person said something like "Yes I'm all too familiar with that", the Non-Narcissist would almost certainly feel something like chagrin, embarrassment, guilt, and sympathy, and then make verbal apologies, and invite the person to talk about it.
When the person IS a Narcissist, if the other person said something like "Yes I'm all too familiar with that", then the N. would immediately become defensive, invalidate them, GO SILENT, go into a "mood" or a "rage", or accuse them of LYING, depending on the severity of the N's illness.
