People
who act rebellious against hatred, but also act hateful toward other
people who don't FIT IN with their crowd at the same time, are
apparently in some kind of mental and emotional boomerang pattern.
If they seem interesting and you want to connect with them, then "Proceed With Caution", or don't "proceed" at all, just keep a safe distance.
People who are in this boomerang state are often still reacting to trauma, unfairness, abuse, neglect, injustice from their own past, or from a shared cultural "story" (true or fictional, or both) that has been passed down. Staying in a state of reaction is not healing, but it does often provide a sense of personal power and independence from controllers, which is important for human beings. Keeping one's "self" and one's dignity intact is a positive; on the negative side, being a part of a group that's in a reactive state means that one is expected to abide by the group's mental and emotional tone, and the group's political and social agenda. (Which means if you don't act, sound, or look like you belong to that group, and if you don't go along with whoever the "leaders" are, you get attacked or ostracized.)
A lot of people stay in a state of reaction because they found a sense of personal power when they reached that point and/or found that group; a sense of belonging, a sense of getting respect and fair treatment, and a sense of independence, maybe for the first time in their lives. These are things that humans need to feel "real" and "effective", so it makes sense that a person would feel comfortable and want to stay in a group or state of being where they feel those things.
And for many, they have found like-minded people who "GET" them, who SEE things they see that others don't. Real and valid things about the world and about other people. They may also feel a sense of purpose and sense of mission, depending on the group and their own perception, which are also things that human beings tend to need and want as a matter of normal mental and emotional health.
So they're getting positive and normal benefits for their emotional and mental health, but they're also getting negative effects from belonging to a group where everyone has to fit in and go along with the group, or get rejected and attacked.
So whatever the "leader" types in the group say, do, and expect from others, the whole group follows in order to avoid tension and rejection, and ALSO to keep the sense of flow, cohesion, and solidarity.
Disagreement is seen as personal insult and attack;
not participating in an activity is seen as dissent, insult, or not being cool, or not being "smart", or not being "real". (ironically).
This can always be seen in various "Political" groups, in both the very large and the very small. If you don't agree with them completely and go along with their party line, agenda, and candidates, they will say that it's because you "don't get it", because you're "not one of them", because you are (pick any combination) : .... stupid, ignorant, too privileged, too poor, the wrong race, the wrong sex, the wrong religion, too non-religious, too religious, too tall, too fat, too short, too skinny, too high on drugs, too sober, too little education, too much education... from the wrong side of the tracks... too ugly, too pretty...
ANYTHING to paint you, the disagreeing person, as "NOT ONE OF THEM", and therefore "BAD" and "WRONG", in order to AVOID actually talking about whatever it is that your disagreement is about.
Being in a reactive state means a person is already reactive before anything even happens, before anyone even talks, like a wound up rubber band. So a group of people who are in reactive states can be dangerous in more ways than one, because they will often gang up on anyone who they see as refusing to go along with their agenda.
(Their agenda, no matter what it is. A reactive group might be PRO abortion, for example, or ANTI abortion, and anyone who disagrees with their EXACT agenda and line will probably be ganged up on, REGARDLESS of how courteous, considerate, kind, and fair they are, or if they have very important points that they genuinely want to discuss politely and objectively.
Because~ for the reactive group, it's not really about being Pro-abortion or Anti-abortion, it's about power, self-righteousness, and belonging to a group, all of which help a human being to feel "real", effective, and part of the world.
If it was REALLY about abortion, they would be open and willing to discuss it without hostility, defensiveness, bullying, or emotional displays, because it would be about information sharing and exploring other points of view, which are REQUIRED when trying to find real solutions or objective "truths" about anything.... Whether I believe in electricity or not, it exists; that's "truth". If I don't LIKE electricity and I don't want to talk about it with YOU because you don't agree with me, and I only want to talk to other people who don't like electricity, that's emotional reaction; it's got nothing to do with "objective truth" regarding electricity.)
HEALING from this is just a matter of becoming more self-aware, other-aware, and developing and healing one's own boundaries. People who act rebellious against hatred, but also act hateful toward other people who don't FIT IN with their crowd at the same time, are apparently in some kind of mental and emotional boomerang pattern.
If they seem interesting and you want to connect with them, then "Proceed With Caution", or don't "proceed" at all, just keep a safe distance.
If they seem interesting and you want to connect with them, then "Proceed With Caution", or don't "proceed" at all, just keep a safe distance.
People who are in this boomerang state are often still reacting to trauma, unfairness, abuse, neglect, injustice from their own past, or from a shared cultural "story" (true or fictional, or both) that has been passed down. Staying in a state of reaction is not healing, but it does often provide a sense of personal power and independence from controllers, which is important for human beings. Keeping one's "self" and one's dignity intact is a positive; on the negative side, being a part of a group that's in a reactive state means that one is expected to abide by the group's mental and emotional tone, and the group's political and social agenda. (Which means if you don't act, sound, or look like you belong to that group, and if you don't go along with whoever the "leaders" are, you get attacked or ostracized.)
A lot of people stay in a state of reaction because they found a sense of personal power when they reached that point and/or found that group; a sense of belonging, a sense of getting respect and fair treatment, and a sense of independence, maybe for the first time in their lives. These are things that humans need to feel "real" and "effective", so it makes sense that a person would feel comfortable and want to stay in a group or state of being where they feel those things.
And for many, they have found like-minded people who "GET" them, who SEE things they see that others don't. Real and valid things about the world and about other people. They may also feel a sense of purpose and sense of mission, depending on the group and their own perception, which are also things that human beings tend to need and want as a matter of normal mental and emotional health.
So they're getting positive and normal benefits for their emotional and mental health, but they're also getting negative effects from belonging to a group where everyone has to fit in and go along with the group, or get rejected and attacked.
So whatever the "leader" types in the group say, do, and expect from others, the whole group follows in order to avoid tension and rejection, and ALSO to keep the sense of flow, cohesion, and solidarity.
Disagreement is seen as personal insult and attack;
not participating in an activity is seen as dissent, insult, or not being cool, or not being "smart", or not being "real". (ironically).
This can always be seen in various "Political" groups, in both the very large and the very small. If you don't agree with them completely and go along with their party line, agenda, and candidates, they will say that it's because you "don't get it", because you're "not one of them", because you are (pick any combination) : .... stupid, ignorant, too privileged, too poor, the wrong race, the wrong sex, the wrong religion, too non-religious, too religious, too tall, too fat, too short, too skinny, too high on drugs, too sober, too little education, too much education... from the wrong side of the tracks... too ugly, too pretty...
ANYTHING to paint you, the disagreeing person, as "NOT ONE OF THEM", and therefore "BAD" and "WRONG", in order to AVOID actually talking about whatever it is that your disagreement is about.
Being in a reactive state means a person is already reactive before anything even happens, before anyone even talks, like a wound up rubber band. So a group of people who are in reactive states can be dangerous in more ways than one, because they will often gang up on anyone who they see as refusing to go along with their agenda.
(Their agenda, no matter what it is. A reactive group might be PRO abortion, for example, or ANTI abortion, and anyone who disagrees with their EXACT agenda and line will probably be ganged up on, REGARDLESS of how courteous, considerate, kind, and fair they are, or if they have very important points that they genuinely want to discuss politely and objectively.
Because~ for the reactive group, it's not really about being Pro-abortion or Anti-abortion, it's about power, self-righteousness, and belonging to a group, all of which help a human being to feel "real", effective, and part of the world.
If it was REALLY about abortion, they would be open and willing to discuss it without hostility, defensiveness, bullying, or emotional displays, because it would be about information sharing and exploring other points of view, which are REQUIRED when trying to find real solutions or objective "truths" about anything.... Whether I believe in electricity or not, it exists; that's "truth". If I don't LIKE electricity and I don't want to talk about it with YOU because you don't agree with me, and I only want to talk to other people who don't like electricity, that's emotional reaction; it's got nothing to do with "objective truth" regarding electricity.)
HEALING from this is just a matter of becoming more self-aware, other-aware, and developing and healing one's own boundaries. People who act rebellious against hatred, but also act hateful toward other people who don't FIT IN with their crowd at the same time, are apparently in some kind of mental and emotional boomerang pattern.
If they seem interesting and you want to connect with them, then "Proceed With Caution", or don't "proceed" at all, just keep a safe distance.
