Self-improvement of any kind is often uncomfortable, even painful, because it requires looking at ourselves in a direct light, and looking right at our mistakes, flaws, avoidance and ego issues.
This is why we all seem to have a such a hard time really doing it; as individuals, in friendships, as couples, as families, as communities, as organizations, and as cultures and nations.
Looking at ourselves and reviewing what we keep screwing up can hurt, especially in a non-supportive environment. In a bullying environment, it can even be dangerous, so we may avoid it altogether.
We can make more progress with any kind of self-improvement if we feel safe and secure, and if we're in a safe and trusted support network, with people who will remain supportive and not try to sabotage our efforts, or try to take the opportunity to control and judge.
Strangely, happiness and fulfillment itself can actually be painful for some people, for various reasons, and therefore they may subconsciously sabotage themselves when they try to focus on improving their own lives and selves. As a brief example, a person who was very happy as a young child, but "lost everything" in their later youth due to tragedy or abuse, may experience real pain when they approach the feeling of happiness they once had, because it reminds them of the loss they experienced which was very painful. This can be overcome, with work and effort.
This is why we all seem to have a such a hard time really doing it; as individuals, in friendships, as couples, as families, as communities, as organizations, and as cultures and nations.
Looking at ourselves and reviewing what we keep screwing up can hurt, especially in a non-supportive environment. In a bullying environment, it can even be dangerous, so we may avoid it altogether.
We can make more progress with any kind of self-improvement if we feel safe and secure, and if we're in a safe and trusted support network, with people who will remain supportive and not try to sabotage our efforts, or try to take the opportunity to control and judge.
Strangely, happiness and fulfillment itself can actually be painful for some people, for various reasons, and therefore they may subconsciously sabotage themselves when they try to focus on improving their own lives and selves. As a brief example, a person who was very happy as a young child, but "lost everything" in their later youth due to tragedy or abuse, may experience real pain when they approach the feeling of happiness they once had, because it reminds them of the loss they experienced which was very painful. This can be overcome, with work and effort.
