Trying To Make You Feel Bad

If it seems like some people in your life are trying to make you feel emotion, such as anxious, guilty, self-conscious, worried, sad, angry, hopeless, suspicious, jealous, envious, sympathetic, panicked, AFRAID, humiliated, confused, powerless, or ashamed of yourself, they very well may be doing just that.

Controllers learn young that in order to have control over other people, you first must provoke them to FEEL something, some kind of emotion. Fear works well, but so do lots of other emotions.

Hurling accusations at someone, for instance, especially when they're unfounded, is an attempt to MAKE THEM FEEL SHAME, which is literally painful, and can cause serious anxiety issues, even depression. Shame in itself is not "bad", it's an important feeling that deters destructive behavior in healthy people.
However, most mentally healthy people will feel shame when they are accused of something, REGARDLESS of whether they're guilty or not of whatever they're being accused of.
They will ALSO FEEL HUMILIATED, ESPECIALLY if the accusation is UNTRUE.
They will often also feel ATTACKED, abandoned, or ostracized, especially when the accusation is unfounded.
In other words, it's WORSE emotionally and mentally on a person who is being accused wrongly, especially if they fear that the accuser will be believed by others, and that others will turn on them.

False accusations are usually done purposely by manipulators and Narcissists. You don't hear false accusations (or slander) from non-controllers, genuine friends, or loyal, caring family members, nor do you hear many accusations at all, really, about other people from those folks.
The subconscious learns these things during childhood.
So when someone is throwing around false accusations against us, or judging us negatively, or spreading rumors about us, we KNOW what's really going on unconsciously (we're being attacked, bullied, SET UP) even when the conscious mind is confused.

Narcissists, on the other hand, feel humiliated (and therefore enraged) when they think they've been "caught" doing something wrong that's REAL, or because their IMAGE is being challenged (How DARE you even IMPLY that I would ever do such a thing! Said the thief to the police officer.)

Controllers, especially those with Narcissism (not all Controllers are "Narcissists"), often use the "Double Bind" to gain power over another.

A far too common example:
Lisa is expected to make excellent grades, and if she doesn't, she gets grounded. Lisa is very capable of high grades and Honors.
But whenever Lisa studies at home, she is interrupted with "chores" or "favors" for other people, or with needless noise (on purpose).
If she politely says "I'm studying right now", she gets chastised for being "snappy", "rebelling", or "talking back".
Also, Lisa's siblings and cousins make fun of her for getting good grades and "being smart", for which they do not get punished at all.
Lisa also gets bullied at school for being a "top student", nearly ever day; either with direct aggression or mean social games.
Those schoolmates don't get disciplined for it either, or even stopped, by school faculty.
~The adults in Lisa's life are actually Bullies themselves, still envious children emotionally, and are getting a charge out of letting other kids pick on her. So according to them, anything Lisa does is "wrong". If her grades slip, they call her "lazy" and a "loser". If she concentrates on her studies and gets good grades, she's being "stuck up", a "weirdo", a "loser", and she's supposedly being a "bad person" according to her family members, because she's studying instead of waiting on them.
Every move Lisa makes, someone is there trying to make her feel SHAME, HUMILIATION, FEAR, or ABANDONMENT.
She is in a constant "Double Bind". (Like being told to sit down and stand up at the same time).
The people around Lisa are TRYING to make her feel self-conscious, anxious, worried, left out, and bad about herself and life in general, because they envy her, or are jealous of the special treatment they THINK she is getting (from who???) because of her academic ability. When and if they succeed in their goal of giving Lisa anxiety or depression problems, they will succeed in their REAL goal of making Lisa lose her confidence and self-esteem, and therefore lose her academic performance, and even her ability.
The fact that no one is standing up for her clearly shows the level of control issues, immaturity, and narcissism in the people around her.