Those who have certain types of Control issues and Boundary problems may habitually try to provoke emotional responses in other people.
Trying to provoke emotions in others is a common sociopath behavior; of course it's also found in others who have maladaptive social behaviors as well.
Frequently provoking emotions/feelings in a target (such as fear, shame, guilt, self-doubt, worry, anger, sadness, loneliness, humiliation, hope, camaraderie, trust) allows the Controller to predict, manipulate and control the target's behaviors and actions. They'll often provoke one feeling in a target, and then switch to provoking an opposite feeling.
For example "Let's go to the movies and have a nice dinner out tonight!" can provoke hope, trust, camaraderie and joy. Then right before it's time to go, they might start an argument or suddenly have to leave, or they don't feel well so they don't want to or can't go. This takes AWAY the target's good feelings, and replaces them with uncomfortable feelings, such as disappointment, sadness, loneliness, or anger, betrayal and abandonment, especially if this kind of bait and switch happens frequently. So the Controller successfully provoked emotions and feelings in the target with both the suggestion of dinner and a movie, and with taking away dinner and a movie. If the target reacts at all, expressing any 'negative' emotion, the Controller will likely accuse them of being hostile, demanding, whiny, or crazy. Controllers SEEK emotional reactions in targets for various reasons, both for supply and for manipulation.
When a person is in defense mode, they are much more apt to be reactive instead of intentional and confident.
If you scare your cat, for instance, you know what he's going to do, pretty much. If he's relaxed and calm, he's confident and operating of his own volition, making decisions and purposeful actions autonomously. Getting HIS OWN goals and needs met. When he's frightened, he's doing one thing: reacting to his fear. His behavior is predictable, and once he's in fear mode, he's even easier to scare and manipulate further.
A Controller would call a cat that's reacting in fear "crazy" or "psycho".
(Actually you can witness this, literally, on episodes of the show My Cat From Hell, with Jackson Galaxy Saturdays at 8 p.m. on Animal Planet. Many cat owners who ask Jackson to "fix their cat" frequently blame their cat for "erratic" behavior, even when it's extremely obvious that the owners are causing it.)
Trying to provoke emotions in others is a common sociopath behavior; of course it's also found in others who have maladaptive social behaviors as well.
Frequently provoking emotions/feelings in a target (such as fear, shame, guilt, self-doubt, worry, anger, sadness, loneliness, humiliation, hope, camaraderie, trust) allows the Controller to predict, manipulate and control the target's behaviors and actions. They'll often provoke one feeling in a target, and then switch to provoking an opposite feeling.
For example "Let's go to the movies and have a nice dinner out tonight!" can provoke hope, trust, camaraderie and joy. Then right before it's time to go, they might start an argument or suddenly have to leave, or they don't feel well so they don't want to or can't go. This takes AWAY the target's good feelings, and replaces them with uncomfortable feelings, such as disappointment, sadness, loneliness, or anger, betrayal and abandonment, especially if this kind of bait and switch happens frequently. So the Controller successfully provoked emotions and feelings in the target with both the suggestion of dinner and a movie, and with taking away dinner and a movie. If the target reacts at all, expressing any 'negative' emotion, the Controller will likely accuse them of being hostile, demanding, whiny, or crazy. Controllers SEEK emotional reactions in targets for various reasons, both for supply and for manipulation.
When a person is in defense mode, they are much more apt to be reactive instead of intentional and confident.
If you scare your cat, for instance, you know what he's going to do, pretty much. If he's relaxed and calm, he's confident and operating of his own volition, making decisions and purposeful actions autonomously. Getting HIS OWN goals and needs met. When he's frightened, he's doing one thing: reacting to his fear. His behavior is predictable, and once he's in fear mode, he's even easier to scare and manipulate further.
A Controller would call a cat that's reacting in fear "crazy" or "psycho".
(Actually you can witness this, literally, on episodes of the show My Cat From Hell, with Jackson Galaxy Saturdays at 8 p.m. on Animal Planet. Many cat owners who ask Jackson to "fix their cat" frequently blame their cat for "erratic" behavior, even when it's extremely obvious that the owners are causing it.)
