Fake flattery is one of the "skills" learned by many people who seek acceptance by others.
Those who have Narcissism often learn how to do it on another level of skill, and learn how to turn it on when they want something from someone, either material or otherwise (trust, etc.)
Demeaning, insulting implications and personal criticisms toward others are ALSO part of this "skill set". Those who combine this with fake flattery are often successful at confusing others and building an image that depicts them as having a high level of ability and intelligence.
People who don't do fake flattery OR personal insults, or rude (dismissive, disrespectful) behaviors - who live in social climates where these social habits are common - are OFTEN "unpopular", often judged as not fitting in, and often rejected socially, simply because they don't do and say the things that others are used to, or that they expect from them.
They don't flatter people just to get their approval, nor do they insult people just to get a laugh or to bully them, and they don't GO ALONG with it when others do these things, either to them or to other people. It's not just that they openly reject or "call out" the behaviors, it's more about simply not doing them, nor responding favorably to them.
~When a person tries to flatter OR bully them, they just don't give the expected response, so the person doesn't get what they were looking for. So therefore, the person doesn't "like" them.
These behaviors (fake flattery, insulting or bullying comments and actions) become normalized in varying degrees in cultures, and people who feel like they fit in tend to see them as "Just The Way We Are", "Just The Way Everyone Is".
So when a person does not go along with it for ANY reason, they are noticed, and often REACTED TO negatively.
This is one of the main reasons why those with Autism traits are often treated poorly. They tend not to go along with social habits such as flattery or bully displays, nor do they respond to them.
So it's hard for a person to get their approval, adulation, or their trust with mere words, or just because everyone else apparently thinks they're "cool" or in some way superior, NOR are they easily intimidated with "toughness" or bully displays, NOR can others get them to accept or believe in anyone's superiority over them, typically.
Those who have Narcissism often learn how to do it on another level of skill, and learn how to turn it on when they want something from someone, either material or otherwise (trust, etc.)
Demeaning, insulting implications and personal criticisms toward others are ALSO part of this "skill set". Those who combine this with fake flattery are often successful at confusing others and building an image that depicts them as having a high level of ability and intelligence.
People who don't do fake flattery OR personal insults, or rude (dismissive, disrespectful) behaviors - who live in social climates where these social habits are common - are OFTEN "unpopular", often judged as not fitting in, and often rejected socially, simply because they don't do and say the things that others are used to, or that they expect from them.
They don't flatter people just to get their approval, nor do they insult people just to get a laugh or to bully them, and they don't GO ALONG with it when others do these things, either to them or to other people. It's not just that they openly reject or "call out" the behaviors, it's more about simply not doing them, nor responding favorably to them.
~When a person tries to flatter OR bully them, they just don't give the expected response, so the person doesn't get what they were looking for. So therefore, the person doesn't "like" them.
These behaviors (fake flattery, insulting or bullying comments and actions) become normalized in varying degrees in cultures, and people who feel like they fit in tend to see them as "Just The Way We Are", "Just The Way Everyone Is".
So when a person does not go along with it for ANY reason, they are noticed, and often REACTED TO negatively.
This is one of the main reasons why those with Autism traits are often treated poorly. They tend not to go along with social habits such as flattery or bully displays, nor do they respond to them.
So it's hard for a person to get their approval, adulation, or their trust with mere words, or just because everyone else apparently thinks they're "cool" or in some way superior, NOR are they easily intimidated with "toughness" or bully displays, NOR can others get them to accept or believe in anyone's superiority over them, typically.
