Forgiveness, understanding, and compassion are part of recovery for the SELF, and if there are children involved and other family members, for their well-being and mental and emotional health.
Forgiveness, understand and compassion have NOTHING TO DO WITH ALLOWING ABUSE, OR SYMPATHIZING WITH AN ABUSER, OR ENABLING ABUSE.
(You don't let a vicious dog sleep in your bed or your kid's bedroom, or even in your house, even if the dog is vicious because he or she has been abused. You would only do that to yourself if you have unhealthy boundaries, or to your child if you're a Narcissist.)
WIthholding forgiveness, understanding and compassion does nothing to a narcissistic abuser, they couldn't care less, they WANT their targets to withhold those things, because it makes them feel like they're AFFECTING the target, and weakening the target.
Withholding them on purpose because one wants to use them as a weapon is just about control and retaliation, which hinder recovery.
Narcissists carry mental and emotional weapons around against other people 24/7 because they feel compelled to; they can't put them down no matter how heavy they get.
NON-narcissists have the blessing of being able to choose NOT to carry mental and emotional weapons with them, and can put them down whenever they choose.
Forgiveness, understand and compassion have NOTHING TO DO WITH ALLOWING ABUSE, OR SYMPATHIZING WITH AN ABUSER, OR ENABLING ABUSE.
(You don't let a vicious dog sleep in your bed or your kid's bedroom, or even in your house, even if the dog is vicious because he or she has been abused. You would only do that to yourself if you have unhealthy boundaries, or to your child if you're a Narcissist.)
WIthholding forgiveness, understanding and compassion does nothing to a narcissistic abuser, they couldn't care less, they WANT their targets to withhold those things, because it makes them feel like they're AFFECTING the target, and weakening the target.
Withholding them on purpose because one wants to use them as a weapon is just about control and retaliation, which hinder recovery.
Narcissists carry mental and emotional weapons around against other people 24/7 because they feel compelled to; they can't put them down no matter how heavy they get.
NON-narcissists have the blessing of being able to choose NOT to carry mental and emotional weapons with them, and can put them down whenever they choose.
