Narcissists And Children

Whether they're parents or not, Narcissists don't have nor comprehend the nature of a normal relationship between parents and children, or any adults and children for that matter.

Narcissists, and especially sociopaths, see children as just some other person, and further, a person who is more of a BOTHER because someone has to take care of them. They need to be fed, sheltered, and clothed.

They don't understand relationships between parents and adult children either. "That kid is an adult now, they're on their own."
It's common for N. parents to get their kids out of the house ASAP so they don't have to be bothered with them anymore. The exception is if one of the kids is a favorite of theirs, OR a scapegoat they want to use as a servant; then they'll try to make sure the child can't leave. Other than that, they want the kid out and away, because they don't want to "have to" care for another human being.

It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the child's personality or behavior. Non-narcissists don't discard or devalue their children, period.

N's are not caring, empathetic, or supportive of other people's children either, whether in or out of their family, and even if they're job is directly with children. They JUDGE other people's children the same way they would judge an adult co-worker or a total stranger. There is no concept of "bonds" or "relationships" or "nurturing", because there's just not. They don't get it. It's not in there.

If a Narcissist has a seemingly good relationship with their own children, it's likely because they think of their children as Golden, as extensions of themselves in a positive way instead of a negative way. They are "Mini-Me's". (They walk a thin line, however; if they start to appear to the N. parent as "other", the N. parent will likely devalue them and stop doting on them abruptly, leaving them to have to figure out how to survive suddenly on their own, feeling abandoned. Some Golden Children reject their N. parents because they feel suffocated and puppeteered, and others turn around and try to dominate their N. parents and control them.)

N. parents who have made their kids into "Golden Children" often devalue OTHER people's children, both within the family and outside of the family. They'll do this also with Step-children who are living in the same household, often causing severe trauma to the children, and family as a whole.

In many parental couples, only one parent is the N., and the non-N. parent has to deal with the impact on the child's personality and behaviors later, all by themselves, without support, because the N. parent is not capable and makes themselves unavailable. In many cases, the non-N parent only married or dated a Narcissist because they're used to N. behavior from their family and/or community, so they won't have OTHER support in dealing with their child's impacted behavior or trauma either. No one will be supportive of them OR the child if they're surrounded by only various N's, and are instead likely to be targeted for more scapegoating, rejection, abuse or manipulation when they most need support.

(Really just simple Bully behavior, but the effects are much more serious when it's in one's personal life by the adults around them, and not left on the playground in second grade.)

Narcissists don't understand "respect", "care", "mentoring", "bonds" or "relationships" between people in general, it doesn't matter if those people are children or not. The only "relationships" they have with children is when they feel possession over them. Other than that, a kid might as well be a squirrel in someone else's yard raiding the bird feeder.