One of the possible effects of Narcissistic abuse:
Being TRIGGERED to feel shame, embarrassment, humiliation, anxiety, guilt, or fear when seeing or hearing certain social signals from others.
Sometimes the trigger can be tripped by the mere presence of a Controller/Narcissist, or even someone who might be one.
The feelings triggered have absolutely nothing to do with anything one has actually done, but it often can make a person believe they've done something wrong, OR that someone is accusing them.
Often if a triggered person can't find something they've done wrong recently, they'll try to match the feeling up to something in their past, or something about their character.
If they think they're being accused or blamed (because of the triggered feelings) by someone, they may also try to match up something real to the feeling. Some may not believe that the person is NOT trying to accuse or blame them, or cast guilt or shame on them; they don't realize it's an internal reaction from something they've been through.
This trigger can be one of the most debilitating effects of Narcissistic abuse, because it changes a person's ability to think, perform, and communicate effectively in the moment, and then the person has to go through a period of recovering from the effects of the trigger, and from whatever the event was that took place if it turned out poorly for them.
Controllers are notoriously skilled (or think they are) at using this trigger as a weapon for bullying, and for getting their own way. They may not even be consciously aware of the process, they may have begun doing it in their youth and were never disciplined or guided.
Controller/Narcissists may be very skilled at tripping this trigger on an unconscious level, simply from years of doing it, in the same way one gets better at skating or surfing, or driving, from doing it. (The brain learns whether we are paying attention or not).
This is one of the main ways Narcissists gain control in all kinds of situations. They are not affected, usually, even if they have the same trigger, because they are in the role of "aggressor", "controller", or "predator".
When one puts themselves in the role of aggressor/controller, one is actively seeking to "dominate" either another individual or a group, and therefore one FEELS LIKE they have the upper hand before anything even happens, or anyone even speaks.
When a Narcissist who's "taking control" is challenged, regardless of whether the challenger is right or wrong, they usually respond to the challenge with some sort of bully tactic immediately, reflexively.
So if one challenges a Narcissist after they've said or done something to trip the "humiliation" trigger, the Narcissist is likely to do something to trip it AGAIN, until the person finally backs down or reacts poorly, overwhelmed by their own neurochemicals (such as adrenaline).
Many who work in the court, judicial and government systems seem to use this on a regular basis to intimidate and confuse people, as do those in various criminal outfits.
Many "business" people use this as well on potential customers, or on employees.
But this can be witnessed in literally any field, including in caregiving, teaching, and counseling occupations, and can be seen in any type of group of people.
Awareness is the first half of the whole battle ~:)
Being TRIGGERED to feel shame, embarrassment, humiliation, anxiety, guilt, or fear when seeing or hearing certain social signals from others.
Sometimes the trigger can be tripped by the mere presence of a Controller/Narcissist, or even someone who might be one.
The feelings triggered have absolutely nothing to do with anything one has actually done, but it often can make a person believe they've done something wrong, OR that someone is accusing them.
Often if a triggered person can't find something they've done wrong recently, they'll try to match the feeling up to something in their past, or something about their character.
If they think they're being accused or blamed (because of the triggered feelings) by someone, they may also try to match up something real to the feeling. Some may not believe that the person is NOT trying to accuse or blame them, or cast guilt or shame on them; they don't realize it's an internal reaction from something they've been through.
This trigger can be one of the most debilitating effects of Narcissistic abuse, because it changes a person's ability to think, perform, and communicate effectively in the moment, and then the person has to go through a period of recovering from the effects of the trigger, and from whatever the event was that took place if it turned out poorly for them.
Controllers are notoriously skilled (or think they are) at using this trigger as a weapon for bullying, and for getting their own way. They may not even be consciously aware of the process, they may have begun doing it in their youth and were never disciplined or guided.
Controller/Narcissists may be very skilled at tripping this trigger on an unconscious level, simply from years of doing it, in the same way one gets better at skating or surfing, or driving, from doing it. (The brain learns whether we are paying attention or not).
This is one of the main ways Narcissists gain control in all kinds of situations. They are not affected, usually, even if they have the same trigger, because they are in the role of "aggressor", "controller", or "predator".
When one puts themselves in the role of aggressor/controller, one is actively seeking to "dominate" either another individual or a group, and therefore one FEELS LIKE they have the upper hand before anything even happens, or anyone even speaks.
When a Narcissist who's "taking control" is challenged, regardless of whether the challenger is right or wrong, they usually respond to the challenge with some sort of bully tactic immediately, reflexively.
So if one challenges a Narcissist after they've said or done something to trip the "humiliation" trigger, the Narcissist is likely to do something to trip it AGAIN, until the person finally backs down or reacts poorly, overwhelmed by their own neurochemicals (such as adrenaline).
Many who work in the court, judicial and government systems seem to use this on a regular basis to intimidate and confuse people, as do those in various criminal outfits.
Many "business" people use this as well on potential customers, or on employees.
But this can be witnessed in literally any field, including in caregiving, teaching, and counseling occupations, and can be seen in any type of group of people.
Awareness is the first half of the whole battle ~:)
